Sleep Training Saved My Sanity
When Is the Right Time to Sleep Train?
Every family reaches the decision to sleep train at a different time and for different reasons.
Some do it proactively, after hearing from friends who swear it changed their lives. Others wait until they’ve tried everything—only to realize that nothing is working, and something has to change. And then there are parents who carry a kind of PTSD—not the clinical kind, but the kind that comes from having a first baby who never slept, leaving them absolutely determined to do things differently next time.
Some families mark the calendar: “At six months, we’re doing this.” Others say, “Let’s give it three more weeks, and if things aren’t better, we’re making a change.”
In my own family, each of my three sons had a completely different sleep journey.
The First Baby: A Plan Set in Stone
With our first, I was determined. Before having kids, I had been a nanny for a family whose baby never slept. I saw firsthand how sleep deprivation seeped into everything—the short tempers, the silent dinners, the resentment. I knew I wasn’t going down that road.
So I did the research, read the books, and on the day my son turned five months old, we sleep trained. And guess what? It worked. And for the first time, I understood what it felt like to actually enjoy motherhood instead of just survive it.
The Third Baby: Desperate for Routine
By the time our third son came along, I had two other kids who needed me. Two kids who woke up every day at 6:30 AM, expecting a present, patient, functional mom. I didn’t have time to drag myself through the day in a zombie haze.
So, at 12 weeks, we sleep trained. Not because he was a terrible sleeper, but because I needed consistency. I needed rest. Because when I was running on broken sleep, I wasn’t just tired—I was irritable, forgetful, and barely holding it together.
The Second Baby: The Breaking Point
And then there was my second son. With him, I figured I’d “just know” when it was time.
But let me tell you something—this kid sounded like a goat when he slept. No exaggeration. I’d lie awake, exhausted but unable to sleep, listening to his little farm animal noises through the baby monitor.
The sleep deprivation crept in slowly, but one night, it hit me like a brick wall.
He woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I fed him. Changed him. Rocked him. Sang to him. Walked him. NOTHING. It was 4 AM, and I sat on the edge of the bed, sobbing, whispering, “Why won’t you just sleep? Please. Just sleep.”
And then my husband groggily rolled over and said four words I will never forget: “Give me the baby.”
I collapsed into bed and passed out immediately. I have no idea how my husband got him to sleep, and honestly, I didn’t care.
What I do know is that the next morning, I realized something had to change.
I had a three-year-old who needed me, and I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be. I wasn’t patient. I wasn’t present. I was just getting through the days, and I didn’t want to live like that anymore.
Looking back, I wish I had made the decision sooner. I wish I hadn’t let things spiral until I hit my breaking point. Because the truth? I barely remember the first five months of my son’s life—I was too exhausted to fully live it.
Taking Care of Yourself Is Not Selfish
I will always hear my husband’s words—“Give me the baby”—and cringe. Not because he said them, but because I let myself get to a place where I needed to hear them.
As moms, we take care of everyone else and so easily forget to take care of ourselves. We push through exhaustion, telling ourselves it’s just part of the job. But here’s the truth—sleep deprivation doesn’t just affect us. It affects our ability to parent, our relationships, our happiness.
When I talk to exhausted moms who feel like they’ve reached their limit, I feel so deeply for them. Because I’ve been there. And I know they didn’t have to get to this point.
So if you’re waiting for a sign that it’s time to make a change, let this be it.
You deserve sleep too. And trust me—when your baby starts sleeping well, everything in your life feels a little easier. 💙
AM Smiles is a highly effective baby sleep coaching service designed for busy families.
I help you harness the power of sleep training to improve the spirits and lives of you and your family through proper rest. I’d love to talk to you about your little one and help you get back to living life well rested! ❤️
